How to choose healthy self-care for true happiness and success

Dr. Sandra Schur • May 10, 2022

One of the issues I help my clients resolve is addressing their "self-care" needs with all their other duties and obligations, so they keep their lives, relationships, careers, and businesses running smoothly.


When clients have this issue and I look at their energy fields, I commonly see a patch of dark green in their chest area, AKA their heart or 4th chakra.  (Dark green is blocked love energy and the 4th chakra is our love/self-love/relationship center.)


Giving ourselves adequate healthy self-care is vitally important if we are to be happy and healthy. But what is healthy self-care? 


We tend to think of self-care in terms of those things that feel a bit self-indulgent, like taking a day off from work, getting a massage, or taking a long bubble bath. 


Yes, all of those things certainly could be categorized as "self-care". But I would argue self-care is taking care of not just yourself, but your whole life. After all, you are more than just your body. You are your relationships, your work, your career, your family--these are all "parts" of you that when happy, healthy, and harmonious, create that same state in you. 


The key here is tuning into what your heart really wants and needs. Your heart center is the energy balance point of your entire being. When you are tuned into that as your guide you pretty much can't go wrong.


Say you have had a hectic week and part of you would love a massage. But you also have a pile of your own laundry that has taken over your entire bathroom. What to do? Tune into your heart and see what feels more calming and comforting. It may be that getting your laundry done at that moment would support you on a mind-body-spirit level more than getting that massage. 


Self-care means doing those things that most support us on a total being level. Taking care of those things that need to be done can actually be more nurturing to yourself--and your relationships-- than doing something more conventionally labeled as "self-care." 


For example, just today my husband wanted me to accompany him to the Hunter's Point Open Studios here in San Francisco. This is a huge event with 250 artists all opening their studios to the public and showing their work.


Now I love art, and I love my husband, but I also love you, my SoulConx reader! And I actually love writing these blog posts, sending a bit of lightness and inspiration to my soul tribe.  (I also love tending my roses and container garden which today all needed a bit of TLC.) So it was a clear and easy choice of self-care. And hubby will get a yummy dinner tonight so he's all taken care of. :)


My point is--self-care is everything!  Every act you perform that nurtures you on any level is an act of self-care. What's important is to tune into the wisdom of your heart to help you choose healthy self-care in every moment.


Here are three simple steps to help you tune into your healthy self-care path


1) Get quiet. Think about the different options/choices you have to direct your energy.  What are the top three?  Identify each one and name it. Let's say for example option 1, option 2, and option 3.


2) While sitting quietly, bring option 1 --or whatever you have named it--.  into your heart space. How does it feel there? what is the feeling quality? Do not overthink this. The whole point is to get out of your head and connect to your life force on a feeling level so you actually know--not theorize-- how it's directing you.


3) Now use the same process with the other two choices. How do they feel in your heart space?  Which one felt the best? "Best" is totally subjective to you. It is usually described as a feeling of "rightness' or lightness" or joy. Whichever choice registers those feelings the most is the one you want --it is resonating the most strongly with your life force. Now do yourself a favor and make that choice-- it is the one that will support you the most in your healthy self-care. 


Hope this helps you make those choices that support you in creating your most fulfilling life!

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